Popularity is for Squares

So, this blog is the most unknown thing in the universe; literally, nobody has ever read this bar me. So surely, on hipster terms this blog must be extremely cool and out there. That is, of course, if I were catering for hipsters.
You see, I'm not catering for anybody because nobody reads these blogs so... I could post anything I wanted, which I won't, but easily could and not worry about another human being ever actually reading it.
I did post a Youtube video once but took it down because it was just too embarrassing: me talking to a camera was like watching an hydrophobe attempting to swim - just downright painful.
In conclusion, and I must conclude formally, if anyone ever stumbles apon this then feel bloody cool. Feel like you've been through the eye of the needle and can now walk through the streets with a sense of integrity and credibility that you couldn't get from those blogs where people actually read them. Because this blog is UNpopular.

People

Some people you just can't help but loathing; an intrinsic yet burning hatred of them forms in your mind in under a second and this repulsion clouds your view of anything they are saying or doing. Then there are some by whom you feel instantly comforted, their face and personality are so wonderfully ebullient that you can't help but smile at the beauty in their little things.

People are people; some you will hate and some you will love. Just try to ignore the ones in the middle because they're only cannon-fodder...

Stand Up Comedy

To you Americans, who seem to find ‘English Humor’, as it is rather enigmatically named, so hilarious; I intend to show that it’s not all chocolate and roses. Please be aware, the following opinions are merely my own and do not run parallel to those of the British public, which is the same public that voted in Tony Blair by the way, twice, and don’t you guys ever forget that.

Stand up comedy in my country is just dire. I’m talking about people like Michael McIntyre and Russell Howard, the flag bearers of British comedy. Maybe this is just me, but I don’t understand why this banal style of observational humour is quite so hilarious, take Mr. McIntyre for instance, Britain’s most popular comedian. I understand his jokes, I understand the appeal of his character, but somehow, everything he says just sickens me. It gives me that feeling of embarrassment. Perhaps this is what Osama bin Laden saw in the Western world? Maybe I’m being too harsh, he’s harmless, right? I could say the same for the eternally baby-faced Russell Howard where his shows seem to involve around the same Christmas cracker calibre jokes. What about Mock the Week, where hollow eyed stand ups get a nice slot on the BBC where they can feel smug for a bit, wallowing in their own regurgitated gags. We see you, sitting there, grinning at your own joke like you’re God’s gift to mankind.

Perhaps on the opposite end of the spectrum to the contrived world of the McIntyres and his disciples of inherently insufferable followers is Frankie Boyle. Yes, that obnoxious Scot who seems to think edgy comedy is purely being cruel to defenceless human beings who can’t answer back. Did you know I’m slightly Scottish too, I know, I don’t have the accent; I lost it out of shame! The problem I have with Frankie Boyle is his feeling of superiority in that he seems to be able to be a complete callous bastard without ever being told to apologise. It’s not remotely edgy; it’s a caricature of a personality, a pathetic husk, lacking what the principles of empathy and compassion stand for. I mean, how is society going to benefit from insulting Jordan’s disabled son? It isn’t. Sure, make a joke out of how Jordan may use her son’s disability for sympathy from the press, or the way the media seem to mercilessly report on it whenever she and he are seen out in public but don’t pick on the poor kid, what’s he done wrong? It just seems wrong in my books. And I don’t see what there is to laugh about when it comes to cancer either. Hell, I know I wouldn’t want to be his friend.

‘Hey, Frankie, I don’t know if you knew but I have terminal cancer so I thought it would be nice for me to do a sponsored run to raise money for cancer charities. Will you sponsor me too?’

‘Aye, I’ll do that for sure, cancer, eh? That means there’s a good chance I won’t have to pay then.’

‘Gee, thanks bro.’

See what I mean? I suppose it’s meant to be funny because it breaks so many taboos that us Brits would never dream of straying near. But once a taboo is broken, it’s broken forever and the world is a colder, darker place.

Like I said though, not all British comedy is rubbish; you can’t go wrong with some IT Crowd or Peep Show, or even game shows like Never Mind the Buzzcocks or Shooting Stars. All these current shows on TV can be entertaining, silly, cringe inducing, bizarre and edgy but without straying away from what comedy is. Not all stand up comedy in Britain is bad either, I just wish that popular comedians had something decent to say for themselves, rather insulting our intelligence with their tedious routines.